


Star Trek: Gordon Ramsay's Great Voyage

by CaliforniaBurrito



Category: Kitchen Nightmares RPF, Star Trek, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Gen, Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:20:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26354068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaliforniaBurrito/pseuds/CaliforniaBurrito
Summary: Another day on Voyager, another dissatisfied customer. Neelix's cooking isn't doing the crew any favors, and only Gordon Ramsay can help. Can Gordon save Neelix and Voyager from another gastronomical disaster? But most importantly, can they save each other?
Relationships: Gordon Ramsay/Seven of Nine, Gordon Ramsay/The Doctor (Star Trek), Harry Kim/Seven of Nine
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	1. Welcome Aboard, Gordon Ramsay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neelix's terrible cooking forces Voyager to invite Chef Ramsay, a hologram from Deep Space Nine, on board.

It was thirteen hundred hours, and time came for Janeway to take a break from her duties on the bridge to indulge her empty stomach with what nutritional excrements Neelix could concoct as, alas, her replicator rations were all used up for the week. As the door to the mess hall slid open, the rancid aroma of whatever alien plants Neelix had decided to steam or broil for the day blasted into her face. Disgusted but unwilling to show anyone, including Neelix, her true feelings, Janeway put her most stern face forward and walked further into Neelix’s domain, asking him straight away for a serving of his “Better than Coffee”, coffee. Neelix happily and joyfully obliged her, as she was one of few customers that had showed up for lunch today. 

However, rather than obliging Talaxian customs of reciting the story of how this coffee came to be, Neelix instead solemnly asks Janeway if something had happened to draw the crew away from the mess hall lately. Janeway replied after shifting her head around as if to scan the place, “To be frank Neelix, no, nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Everyone is attending to their duties as usual.” Deeply saddened by the ramifications of what he had just heard, Neelix persisted in his interrogation of the captain. “But what about the people who always come to the mess hall? To wine, and dine, and have a good time? Lt. Paris or um, Ensign Kim? Have anything out of the ordinary happened to them? Maybe a transporter accident or perhaps they’ve come down with an alien bug! They always have lunch here, always!” 

Janeway sighed, as she sensed a desperate jealousy in Neelix’s questions, and then took a sip of her afternoon coffee. “Like I said Neelix, nothing at all. You’ll have to ask them yourself, they’re off duty right now.” Neelix stiffened his shirt up and nodded his head in affirmation as it was clear that no one else was coming to lunch today. “Thank you Captain, if you won’t mind, I’ll do that now, help yourself to more “Better than Coffee” coffee while you’re here!”, Neelix said, as he hastily walked out of the mess hall in pursuit of Ensign Kim and some answers. First he checked Ensign Kim’s room, but no one answered. Then he approached Lt. Paris’s room, which was also quiet. Then he headed to Sickbay, perhaps Ensign Kim was sick Neelix thought, but he only found the Doctor toiling around his post. Finally he headed to the holodeck, perhaps Ensign Kim and Lt. Paris were in there, using their privileges to enjoy yet another holonovel. Alas, he found the holodeck unoccupied as well. Giving up, he simply asked the computer to locate Ensign Kim for him, and to his surprise, the computer simply said, “Ensign Kim is in his quarters.” 

“Ensign Kim must’ve taken a nap”, Neelix thought, “Surely he wouldn’t ignore me at his door.” Frantically Neelix speedwalked the final stretch to Ensign Kim’s quarters, and again he knocked and called for him, “Harry, are you in there? Are you ok?” Finally, Harry answered, his mouth obviously chewing on something, “Just a moment Neelix!” Unamused and sensing something had gone awry, Neelix forcefully ordered the ship to unlock the room for him, as he was higher ranked than the lowly Ensign. Before Harry could cover the tracks of his crime against Neelix, the stout Talaxian saw the event in full. Rather than eating a freshly cooked meal that was prepared by Neelix, Harry had instead opted to replicate one of his favorite snacks, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Neelix was at a loss for words. Neelix had never imagined that his friend would betray him in such a cruel way. 

“Why Harry!” Neelix thought, “Why Harry of all people, Harry who had fervently enjoyed the Porakan eggs I serve for breakfast. Harry who eagerly drank the Cream of Leola soup I made for dinner. Harry, who had been my friend for these few difficult years. Why Harry, why?!” This affront to their friendship did not go unnoticed by Ensign Kim, who put down his sandwich and consoled Neelix. With his arms around his friend’s shoulder, Harry confessed, “I’m sorry Neelix but, I just can’t eat leola root every day. I know you’re trying your best but, I just can’t do it.” Neelix was mildly comforted but he still wanted to be the Ship Chef that he knew everyone needed. “Oh Harry, what can I do? These ingredients, they’re all that’s here in the Delta Quadrant, I know you and much of the crew don’t find it palatable but, what else can I do?” Neelix said as he paced across the young Ensign’s room. “I’ve been experimenting for years, maybe more carrots, maybe less leola root, it hasn’t worked! What can I do, Harry?” 

After a moment of contemplation, Ensign Kim had a reply. He had seen some new holonovels transmitted to Voyager from Lt. Barclay. They were old stories but told with new life, “Kitchen Nightmares”, Harry said. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Neelix defensively retorted, his body visibly repulsed by those two words alone. Sensing that his friend is skeptical, Harry put on a wide smile and said, “It’s an old Earth show. A great chef, Gordon Ramsay, goes to kitchens that, you know, aren’t at their best, and he makes them as good as they can be. It’s really fun. Maybe you can have Gordon’s hologram transmitted here and he could, I guess, advise you on how to make the food more agreeable to us.” Neelix looked away from Kim’s peering eyes, pondering on the idea of having another chef enter his space and critique his food, but deep down, he understood that it was a necessity at this point. Nobody was eating at the mess hall for lunch and breakfast, and the dinner service was clearly not what most of the crew had in mind. 

Neelix stood firm once more, and nodded his head. “I’ll request Gordon right away. Thank you for this talk, Harry, you’re a good friend,” Neelix said, finally smiling again. Ensign Kim gave a nervous chuckle, as he knew how bad of a friend he was at that moment, but nonetheless, he showed Neelix the door. After taking a moment to collect himself, he continued devouring that peanut butter and jelly sandwich he had spent his replicator ration on. Not long after, Gordon’s hologram had been transmitted on board. Neelix sprinted into the sickbay and said in a jovial voice, “Doctor, I’d like some, err, food help, if you’d be so kind.” The Doctor put down the PADD that he was reading and looked over at the giddy Talaxian before saying, “I’m a doctor, not a chef!” 

Unperturbed, Neelix expanded on his thoughts, “Well, I’ve got a hologram here, someone from Earth, a long, long time ago. Gordon Ramsay, if you’ve heard of him. Anyways, I’d like him to help me spruce up the kitchen a bit, but he’d need to borrow your mobile emitter, if you’d be so kind to.” The Doctor, looking annoyed, understood in an instant the medical ramifications of the crew not eating at the mess hall and instead, indulging themselves on replicated food. The Doctor closed his eyes for a moment and obliged, saying “Very well. I’ll activate this, Gordon Ramsay of yours.” The Doctor pushed a few buttons and Gordon appeared, now sporting the mobile emitter on his arm. “Where the bloody hell am I?” Gordon said, his Scottish accent embracing Neelix’s hairy ears for the first time. “Oh Gordon, you’re on the Voyager now! It’s a ship in the-”, before Neelix could finish, the angry and now red-faced Scot interrupted, “Oh, fucking unbelievable, let me guess, you activated me to fix the god awful cooking here, right? What a surprise. Who’s the chef in charge? Give me the bloody details, I’ll do the rest.” 

Neelix grinned nervously. He was clearly stalling for time, searching for the correct words to appease the blonde brute. “Funny you ask that, I’m the chef here!” Neelix finally said. Gordon blinked intensely, as if he was in total disbelief. “What’s your name?,” Gordon quickly asked, his body jittering around. “I’m Neelix, a pleasure to meet you Mister Ramsay,” Neelix replied. “Chef Ramsay,” he said, as he quickly shook the hairy Talaxian’s hand. Although the real Gordon was onboard Deep Space Nine on the far edges of the Alpha Quadrant, this hologram of him is more acquainted with the variety of alien species that a hologram could encounter. Thus, despite it being in the nature of his programming, Gordon did not feel repulsed by the hideous nature of Neelix’s hand, and he instead gave him a firm and hard shake. 

“So! How do we begin!,” Neelix said, as he clasped his hands together in anxiety and excitement. “Well Neelix,” Gordon replied in a condescending voice, “usually, the chefs of the restaurants don’t want me to help them. Somebody else who’s more bloody disappointed in the food asks me too. So tell me about some customers you’ve disappointed lately so that I can get a fucking objective critique of your place?!” he shouted. Disturbed by this aggressive outburst of saliva unto his face, Neelix obliged and the Doctor quickly interjected, “As the ship’s on-board Emergency Medical Hologram, I’ve been in active use for upwards of 1864 days. In my time here, I’ve diagnosed countless ailments of the crew and the overall sentiments in regards to Mister Neelix’s cooking has been generally...negative.” Gordon, now annoyed by the posh demeanor of the Doctor, gestures his hand outwardly and asks for more detail. The Doctor, looking to Neelix for his tacit approval, gets it with a nod from the nervous Talaxian, and then says, “Well, the chief complaints by the victims of Mister Neelix’s cooking is that the food is bland, the ingredients taste foul, and on occasion, are a cause of sickness for them. Illnesses such as upset stomachs, nausea, headaches, need I go on?” 

“Wow. Just wow.” Gordon said, as he ran his hand through his hair. “Thanks for the honesty Doctor. Now tell me this, Chef Neelix, do you honestly believe your food is good?” Neelix shrunk even more into the room than his small stature would allow. He stutters, “Well, y-yes!” Gordon did not accept this answer. After another pensively deep breath, he shouted at Neelix once again, “Look into my face you hairy beast, do you honestly want my help? I can’t do anything if you’re not willing to help yourself!” Neelix’s will did not bend this time, his eyes locked into Gordon’s, he replied, “Absolutely Chef Ramsay!” Taking a sigh of relief, Gordon grabbed Neelix by his shoulders and chuckled, “Show me the way to the mess hall then!” As Gordon and Neelix departed the sickbay, the Doctor smiles, knowing that he had helped not just one soul, but rather, potentially every soul on Voyager.


	2. A Day of Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Neelix and Gordon get acquainted, Gordon must find out why the crew of Voyager are not enjoying Neelix's food. Unfortunately for Neelix, his food speaks for itself. But Gordon isn't his friend, and he doesn't mince his words when he critique's Neelix's dishes.

Gordon and Neelix paced towards the mess hall, Gordon informing Neelix very briefly on how he plans to operate. First he will order some food at random and taste it. Then he will go into the kitchen and examine Neelix’s workspace. Next he will observe how the dinner rush hour goes. After that, he will give Neelix his critiques and revamp the restaurant as he sees fit. However, at this point, Neelix interjected that they can’t modify the mess hall anymore than it already has been, as it would be against Starfleet regulations. Rolling his eyes and understanding the lack of options he has, Gordon quickly created a new way to end his stay on Voyager, “Bloody hell. New plan then, you and I will go explore a planet together yeah? Then I’ll share with you some ingredients and recipes and ideas that you can use to turn this place around. Sounds good?” This wasn’t in Neelix’s purview, but he reckoned he could goad Tuvok into helping him set this expedition up. So, just as quickly as Gordon presented his plan, Neelix agreed to it. 

Stopping before the door to the mess hall, Gordon paused and with an additional jolt of energy, added to his plan, “One more thing yeah, we’ll have a cook off to see just how far you’ve improved. The crew would be the judges. They should be able to taste the difference. Agreed?” The pensive look that Neelix had earlier returned. He had never faced off against another chef and here Gordon was, one of Earth’s most famous chefs, asking to compete with him for the tastebuds of his friends and his fellow crew. This felt like a challenge, a great challenge for Neelix, one he was unsure if he could overcome. Having nothing to lose, he agreed to this part of the adventure as well. “No problem, Chef Ramsay. May the best cook, win,” Neelix replied, with a light smile at the end of his statement. Unamused by the giddy nature of the Talaxian, Gordon stepped into the mess hall, ready to see the nightmare he had woken into. 

The mess hall was grey and empty and Gordon knew he could only mend one of those issues. The aesthetics were horrible, Gordon thought to himself, as there were no colors on any furnishings and no decorations on the walls or tables. Worst of all though was the one thing he could change- how many people who’d show up for the dinner service. Of the perhaps two dozen seats open, only three had been occupied, and of those three, only two of them were eating food. “Good God Neelix, why is no one here?,” Gordon asked with a sense of genuine care in his voice for once. Neelix stuttered for words but he knew that all that needed to be said had already been implied. Dejected, Neelix replied, “They...don’t like my cooking Chef Ramsay.” Even though Gordon already knew that, he took the chance to riff one off on Neelix, “Of course not if you’re trying to poison them!” 

Gordon takes a seat next to a woman who’s in a tight fitting bodysuit. She was sitting alone and reading a PADD, with no food on her table whatsoever. He leans over to her and signals his desire to start a conversation. “Is this place usually this empty?,” he whispered. The woman stood up and said calmly in a monotone voice, “You must be Gordon Ramsay. Lt. Paris and Ensign Kim showed me some of your holonovels. I presume you are here to do an inspection of the mess hall.” Gordon was taken aback by the direct nature of this woman, but he was equally impressed. “Yes, what’s your name?,” he asks. Tilting her head to the side, she says “I am Seven of Nine, but you can call me Seven. By the advice of the Captain, I have taken a job to help Neelix around the mess hall in order to improve the development of my social skills. To answer your previous question, in my time onboard Voyager, yes, the mess hall is often empty. However I cannot speak for the approximately 3 years when Neelix was the Chef and I was still a part of the Collective. In any case, what would you like to order today?” 

Gordon chuckled, partially because he was mildly intimidated by this tall beauty who had just given him a detailed breakdown of her thoughts, and partially because he didn’t know what was on the menu. “Well, where’s the menu?,” he finally asked. “A menu?,” Seven, equally confused, retorted. “You know, something that tells me what there is to eat,” he said. Looking away for a moment, her eyes quickly returned to meet Gordon’s. “A broad variety of offerings based on the leola root is available. Leola rice pilaf, Leola root soup, Cream of Leola soup, Leola root stew, and sweet Leola root tart. Other offerings include, Jibalian omelettes, Talaxian omelettes, Jibalian fudge cakes, Jibalian berry salads, Talaxian spice stews, Darvot fritters, Alfarian hair pasta, and the Chef’s special, Plomeek Soup a la Neelix,” Seven rattled off without missing a beat. Gordon smiled widely as he was impressed by Seven’s ability to remember the entire menu. “I don’t know what any of those things are but you make them sound very lovely,” Gordon said charmingly.

“Is that an attempt to court me Chef Ramsay?,” Seven questioned, to which Gordon was visibly unnerved and instinctually rubbed the ring on his finger. Having dodged the question, Gordon almost nervously recited what foods he remembered from Seven’s earlier reading of the menu, “Erm, I’ll have the Alfarian hair pasta then, surely it’s not actual hair, the Cream of Leola soup, and the omelette...what was it?” Seven interjected, “There are two available, Jibalian or Talaxian omelettes.” Nodding his head, Gordon continued, “I suppose the Jibalian one then, and erm, I might as well have the Chef’s special. Thank you.” With his order memorized, Seven quickly walked towards Neelix’s station and recited to him Gordon’s order. With great efficiency, Neelix went to work, mixing in the ingredients for his namesake soup while at the same time working on the Leola soup as well. Seven waited by the stall, observing the happenings of the room. Gordon walked over to the table occupied by the other two crew members in the room and asked them about their food. 

“Hey, I was just wondering, what do you guys think about Neelix’s cooking?,” Gordon excitedly asked. The stern Vulcan man look at Gordon and replied, “Mr. Neelix tends to experiment with the foods he serves. The success rate on those experiments have not been high.” This statement amused the woman he was sitting with, who smiled for a moment but quickly regained her equally stern composure that she had before. “Mr. Tuvok is...more or less correct. I hate to say this as Mr. Neelix means well, but in order to fulfill my duties as Captain of the ship, I require at minimum three cups of coffee a day and I can’t say that Mr. Neelix’s coffee substitute does the trick,” she said in a hushed tone. Gordon took a moment to adjust his demeanor while in the presence of the Captain and he said to them, “Well, I’ll do my bloody best to change that, alright? Alright, take care now.” Gordon walked back to his seat, where a bowl of Cream of Leola soup now sat. 

“Oh bloody hell that smells awful.” Gordon whispered to himself, but unfortunately, everyone else heard him due to the emptiness of the room. He gently took a spoonful of the vicious white fluid into his mouth. Not even giving it the time of day, he immediately rejected it, spitting it back into the bowl and said, “Cream of Leola soup, more like Cream of Leola poop. Gosh, Seven, can you come here for a minute?” Seven approached his table and Gordon looked into her eyes, not fussed by her anymore and said, “This is simply awful. I wouldn’t serve my greatest enemy this. It’s poisonous.” Seven had seen enough Kitchen Nightmares to know this cue. “I will bring it back to the kitchen,” she calmly replied before walking away with the soup in hand. Gordon once again thanked her as she left. Neelix, now finishing his namesake soup while working on the Jiballian omelette, interrupted Seven before she could talk. “I know, I know, I could hear him from here,” he said, despondently. After setting the Cream of Leola soup aside, she then took the freshly done Plomeek Soup a la Neelix as soon as he finished it and brought it to Gordon’s table. “The Chef’s Special, Plomeek Soup a la Neelix. Please enjoy,” Seven said before walking back to her post. An audible sigh from Tuvok could be heard from across the room, but Gordon only snickered at the implication of it.

“Right, surely he can’t screw up his own special,” Gordon said to himself before taking a spoonful to his nose to smell the reddish soup. “Smells fine, lets see if it tastes the part.” Gordon then took the spoon into his mouth and allowed the soup to loiter there for a moment. Neelix was watching, and he noticed that, for the first time today, Gordon’s face didn’t appear angry. Neelix smiled and allowed himself a moment’s reprieve as he figured that Gordon liked the soup. But then, after Gordon swallowed the serving of soup, the tanned white skin of the Scot erupted into a fiery bloom of redness from the spiciness of the soup. Neelix’s small smile turned into a frown, and Seven ran to Gordon’s side as Janeway stood up to see what had happened. Tuvok simply held his head low as he already knew. Coughing, Gordon said to Seven, “Can you get me some iced water, please?,” to which Seven obliged as quickly as she could. Gordon chugged the replicated glass of iced water faster than he had shoved anything else into his mouth, and soon enough he returned to tip-top shape, to everyone’s relief. “Too fucking spicy,” Gordon said, after regaining his composure. “Seven, would you mind having a taste of this?”

Seven was a bit flustered by the offer after observing how Gordon had reacted to it. “Thank you for the offer but I must decline, I have a figure to maintain,” she said hesitantly. “A server should always try all the foods so that they’d know what to recommend to customers,” Gordon retorted. Seven reluctantly took a spoonful of Neelix’s soup and looked over at Janeway for guidance, who was still observing from her seat. “It’s never a bad idea to expand your palate, Seven,” Janeway said with her signature grin. “Very well then, Chef Ramsay,” Seven said, before she drank her sample of soup. For a moment of time, it was as if all motion was paused in the mess hall. Janeway and Gordon looked to Seven with devious and conniving smiles, Tuvok was buried into his PADD attempting to not relive the horrors of his memories, and Neelix too was consumed in his work, trying his best to make the next dish better than what he had already served. After this moment of silence, the pale skin of Seven burned red and she worked hard to contain her thoughts. “It is incredibly spicy,” Seven finally uttered, before she helped herself to some iced water of her own.

Gordon chuckled, and a faint snicker from Janeway could be heard as well. “It’s far too spicy for my liking. Any more spices and this could kill someone,” Gordon jokingly said. “Indeed,” Seven replied as she took Neelix’s namesake soup back to the kitchen. Before she could set the soup down, Neelix had to defend himself, “It’s not that spicy, I’ve only put a hint of Spith basil and-”, Seven interrupted him, “Mr. Neelix, your Plomeek Soup a la Neelix was extremely spicy. Perhaps you should recalibrate its flavor profile in the future.” Saddened by Seven’s appraisal of his namesake soup, there was but only one thing he could do, finish the other dishes Gordon had ordered. Before long, Neelix had put the final touches on the Jibalian omelette and set aside a healthy portion of the Alfarian hair pasta as well, which Seven quickly brought over to Gordon’s table. “Jibalian seven-spice omelette and Alfarian hair pasta,” Seven said, as she sat the dishes down to Gordon’s look of confusion. Gordon looked deeply into the Alfarian dish before finally plucking something out with his fingers. “I thought you were joking, calling this hair pasta, but Jesus Christ, there’s a hair in there! Neelix, can you come over for a minute?,” Gordon shouted out. 

Neelix hurried over to Gordon’s table, “What’s the matter Chef Ramsay? Don’t like the hair pasta?” Clearly incensed by the ignorance of the Talaxian cook, Gordon stood up and put the hair he had retrieved next to Neelix’s whiskers. “You disgusting fucking pig, it’s your fucking hair in the pasta! What’s the point of that silly hat of yours if your greasy whiskers aren’t covered! It’s the 24th fucking century and you’re cooking like you’re in the 14th fucking century! Jesus Christ!,” Gordon angrily yelled at Neelix, his saliva mixing with the sweat on Neelix’s brow. Stuttering, Neelix could only apologize, “S-sorry Chef Ramsay! It...it won’t happen again!” Neelix hurried back into his kitchen in shame. Shaking his head, Gordon sat back down to taste his food. He took a fork full of the Alfarian hair pasta and ate it. “Too hard.” Then he took another fork full of the pasta, but this time with a healthy lathering of the mysterious reddish sauce that was poured onto the middle of the dish. “Awful, bland. Ugh,” he said. Seven again took this as her cue to bring the dish back to the kitchen, and Gordon again thanked her for the timely service. 

“Last dish of the day. Lets see if he can actually cook something,” Gordon said before taking a small bite from the Jibalian omelette. For a few tense moments, he chewed on the small serving of omelette and after that, it became clear to everyone in the room that he actually had tasted something he enjoyed. The tension lifted from the room and Neelix let out a sigh of relief. “Seven, can you come here for a minute?,” Gordon said. “Was the Jibalian omelette not prepared to your satisfaction?,” she asked. “No, no, here, have a bite of it,” he said as he raised a small serving of the dish to her. Still apprehensive from her past encounter with Neelix’s cooking, she hesitated, but rather than deferring to Janeway’s guidance, she soon ate the portion of omelette that Gordon had given her. “It is very rich and mildly spicy. The texture is strange but not unpalatable,” she said analytically. Gordon smiled. “It’s quite alright isn’t it?,” he replied. “Correct,” she said. “Amazing. Finally, a good fucking dish,” Gordon said to Neelix while maintaining that signature pouty face of his. Satisfied that their friend and chef was in good hands, Janeway and Tuvok departed the mess hall, leaving Gordon, Seven, and Neelix alone. Gordon wiped his mouth with a napkin and approached the kitchen to have a word with Neelix, face to face, while Seven cleaned his table after him.

“I thank God that you were able to cook that omelette well, Neelix,” Gordon said, while clearly setting aside time for Neelix to reply. “Thank you Chef Ramsay,” Neelix joyfully replied. “Because for a moment there, I thought you couldn’t cook a damned thing at all,” Gordon continued. His wide grin now diminished, “Sorry Chef Ramsay,” Neelix said. “Now, lets see if your kitchen is as disgusting as your hair pasta was,” Gordon said as he began rummaging through the kitchen. After briefly pacing through the petite confines of the kitchen space, and then pacing through it again as if in disbelief, Gordon was, once again, truly impressed. “Wow. Look at that. Your kitchen’s remarkably clean. I am genuinely surprised. What’s your secret?,” Gordon asked with actual childlike wonder in his voice. “Well, I thought you’d know yourself, but we just put all the dirty dishes and utensils in the replicator, and, Seven, can you explain it to Chef Ramsay for me?,” Neelix said nervously, as science wasn’t his forte. “The replicator is capable of converting energy into matter as well as matter into energy. In that way, it is able to reconstitute the mass of the materials that is put into it back into energy at a high efficiency of conversion. Then the necessary materials are replicated again and used for their appropriate functions. Complex materials require more energy to replicate, however, as these materials that we are...washing, are not complex, it expends less energy than that of a single replicator ration, thus making this process extremely energy efficient,” Seven said, as she stacked Gordon’s plates together for cleaning. 

“Remarkable,” Gordon replied, as he watched Seven leave the mess hall with the plates in tow. After snapping out of his trance, Gordon proceeded to lay out the rest of his plans for the evening, observing Neelix’s dinner rush. “So, you’re gonna be cooking for the ship yeah? What's on the menu for those poor sailors?,” he asked. Neelix looked around, unsure of himself. “For God’s sake man, you know what you’re cooking right?,” Gordon screamed. Nervously and with a fake smile Neelix replied, “Alfarian hair pasta! And...you can’t go wrong with Leola root stew!” A few hours went by as Gordon watched Neelix preparing large portions of hair pasta and Leola root stew. Gordon didn’t talk much as he figured that he needed to allow Neelix to work. Seven returned to the mess hall a few minutes before dinner service was slated to begin and soon enough, the room lit up with energy as hungry scientists, soldiers, officers and engineers alike all steadily poured in after their shift was over. A few crew members took up seats to converse with each other as they had something to drink already, while others lined up like the consummate professionals they are to get a serving of Neelix’s dinner. 

Neelix gave roughly equal servings of the Alfarian hair pasta and Leola root stew to each passing crew member, each greeted by the big smile of the jubilant Talaxian as well as, at times, some friendly banter if Neelix knew the person. After a few hectic minutes of service, the line died down as the stragglers came in. With everyone sitting and eating, Gordon stood next to Neelix, observing the crew eating and talking, as well as Seven practicing her social skills while she was cleaning up the tables. With how few people were now coming in, Neelix could only watch and wait with Gordon. However, he was more nervous now as he did not have the comfort of having his friends nearby as they were likely off adventuring. Soon, Gordon’s prognosis was clear. He had noticed that a few people were using their hands to pick at the pasta, no doubtedly to retrieve unwanted things from it. Those brave enough to eat the stew were also grimacing at its flavor. The only smiles in the room were from conversations rather than Neelix's food. 

Gordon was aghast by what he was seeing, unable to comprehend the unmitigated gastronomical disaster that had befallen the crew. Without shouting and only in pure sincerity, he asked Neelix, “Can I have a bit of that stew?” Neelix could only oblige, as he knew the stunned look on Gordon’s face could only mean bad things. As Gordon sipped on the stew, his face became even more horrified, as if he had just drunk something totally contrary to what his beliefs in good cooking prescribed. Without remarking at the stew with words, Gordon walked out of the kitchen at a brisk pace and headed to the tables and chairs occupied by the crew. He paused for a few moments to talk to the people, but Neelix could not hear what was said through the commotion of the rest of the mess hall. Finally, Gordon came back to the kitchen and gave Neelix the bad news. “Neelix, take a guess at what all these people here, yeah, all these scientists and engineers have in common,” Gordon said, red in his face. Neelix was confused and gave the only answer he knew, “They’re all a part of Starfleet?” he said squirrlishly. Neelix prepared himself for the blood red Scot, whose veins were about to pop.

“No you fucking imbecile, they’re all out of replicator rations! They’re only fucking eating your disgusting pasta because they can’t have anything else!,” Gordon screamed. Neelix opened his mouth a little as if he wanted to interject, but Gordon raged on. “Don’t you fucking tell me there’s supposed to be hair in that pasta. It’s terrible! I don’t know what kind of ugly fucking alien you are but whatever those fucking whiskers are made of is dropping into their pasta! How can you expect them to eat that disgusting shit? I’m done! I’ve had it! I’m fucking done! I’m shutting you down! Sorry folks if your pasta had some of his disgusting hair in it. If you’re still hungry, and I know you fucking are, I’ll cook for the rest of the evening. It’ll take a few minutes but I won’t be making any fucking Leola root stew!,” Gordon shouted at the top of his lungs.

Although the room was full of people who Neelix had known for years, some couldn’t help but smile. Thankfully for Neelix’s heart, most hid what reactions they had as Neelix set aside his chef’s cap for the night. Those who were still hungry and dissatisfied with their food, or were just curious to try some of Gordon Ramsay’s cooking, came up to Gordon as he finished his batch of Alfarian hair pasta, which he had learned to make from observing Neelix earlier. The hair was cooked in such a way that not even Neelix understood, al dente, as Gordon called it. The looks on the crew were a clear contrast to just a few minutes earlier, as people were shocked at the difference they were tasting. 

As Gordon’s dinner service was wrapping up, Gordon offered Seven a taste of his pasta, which she did not hesitate to try. The look on the former Borg drone’s face was something unknown to the people she had come to call her friends over the last year, as it was one of pure wonder and excitement. Everything about the hair pasta that she had just tasted was different from the kind that Neelix had served her many months ago. The texture, the flavor, the sauce. Soon, Seven grabbed a plate and helped herself to more of the pasta, much to Gordon’s delight. “I thought you were watching your figure?,” he said to her, smiling. “I was,” Seven replied as she walked towards an empty table. As this was happening, all Neelix could do was sit in the corner of his mess hall quietly, his feelings of inadequacy and soon, jealousy, building up inside him. Neelix never liked the replicator, which he saw as an inferior chef to him. But for the first time, he’s face to face with a chef who is comparable if not better than he was. Muted rage could be seen on his once lighthearted and cheerful face, his whiskers clearly vibrating from his frustrations. Something had to be done.


	3. Prepping for the Away Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon wants to teach Neelix some tricks of the trade on an away mission. However, before that could happen, the unlikely duo will need approval from Captain Janeway. That isn't as easy as it seems.

Gordon washed his hands and walked towards Neelix as he was drying himself off. Before Gordon could speak, Neelix had to get his thoughts out of his mind. “I-I don’t know what to do! I’ve been cooking Alfarian hair pasta for twenty years and here you are, a hologram, from the 21st century, cooking it better than me! I don’t know if I should be impressed or ashamed or what! What can I do, Chef Ramsay? I’m just...at a loss for words!”, Neelix exclaimed melodramatically while he begged with his hands clasped together. For once, Gordon showed genuine empathy for the Talaxian, but he also knew exactly what he needed to do. “‘Remember that expedition I told you about earlier? That’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to strip everything back, we’re going to go back to basics, yeah? Just, you and me, some good ingredients and hopefully, some good cooking. You’re a decent enough chef as it is, Neelix, you just have to be better! That’s it! You alright?”, Gordon said, as he touched Neelix’s shoulder. Tears started to slowly stream from Neelix’s eyes. “Yes Chef!”, Neelix confidently said as he composed himself. “I’ll try to organize this trip right away!”, Neelix continued. Gordon grinned, he was genuinely happy that he had not destroyed Neelix’s jovial nature. “Be sure to set up that cook off too! Hopefully you’ll be at your best then!”, Gordon shouted at Neelix, as Neelix walked out the mess hall.

Unbeknownst to Gordon, Neelix was extremely perturbed by the cook off. A few moments ago he watched the renowned chef from Earth best him at a dish that he had been cooking for much longer. The veneer of upbeat sincerity vanished from Neelix’s face as his back turned to Gordon, revealing hints of that pent up rage and jealousy that’s been buried deep inside the confines of his Talaxian mind. He knew that he had to do something. At the same time, Seven had finished her serving of Gordon’s hair pasta, and she prepared to leave the room to clean her plate. Before she left, she walked up to Gordon, who was sitting by the kitchen, helping himself to some cold water he had just replicated. “Your Alfarian hair pasta was of an extremely high quality. Is it possible for you to make this dish for me on another occasion?”, she queried. Gordon chuckled with mild amusement, his eyes darting around the room as he searched for his words. “Are you asking me out to a date, Seven?”, he said smiling, still amused.

“Correct. I have been going on dates in the holodeck to expand my social capabilities to sufficient levels. You are a hologram as well and I would enjoy your company and cooking very much,” Seven said, still not displaying as much emotion or affection as Gordon would want. Gordon felt offended by her remark as he has not come to terms with being a hologram just yet. After a brief moment of contemplation, he says to her, “Sorry Seven, but I must decline. I’m happily married, even if my wife’s probably been dead for centuries now.” Gordon’s eyes briefly glistened with the tears of his memories. “Very well then. Good night,” Seven said as she walked out the mess hall. Before Gordon could hang his head lower and recollect about his family, the Captain’s voice called him from the walls, instructing him to come to her ready room. 

Although he did not know the ship, he still somehow was able to traverse the halls of Voyager with ease, and he made his way into the Captain’s ready room in a breeze. “Ah, Chef Ramsay, welcome, please have a seat,” Janeway said, as she gestured over to an empty chair situated next to Neelix and Tuvok. “Neelix tells me that you want to go on a supply mission with him?”, she continued. “Yes, it’s really the best way for him to improve his skills and really become the best chef that he can be,” Gordon replied. “Mr. Tuvok, what’s the nearest M-class planet with possible plant life?”, she asked. “Captain, we are currently approximately 1 light-year away from a M-class planet that our sensors have indicated to be full of plant and potential animal life. Because of the parameters that Mr. Neelix has indicated to me, it should be sufficient to send an away team consisting of Mr. Neelix, Mr. Ramsay, and me. We should not be on the planet for more than a day, and I am confident Mr. Neelix and Mr. Ramsay will be able to acquire all the necessary ingredients that they require,” Tuvok confidently replied. “Any ideas on a temporary chef to hold us over for that day, Mr. Neelix?”, she asked. “Well, Seven’s been really sharpening her skills lately, I think she’d be an excellent choice,” Neelix said with his trademark joyful swagger. 

Janeway leaned into her desk and pressed a button. “Seven, please report to my ready room,” she said. “On my way,” Seven replied. The three men sat in silence as they waited for Seven to come. In the meanwhile, Janeway broke the silence, “So I heard your pasta was quite a hit, Mr. Ramsay. Tell me, how’s your coffee making skills?”, Janeway asked a bit flirtatiously. Gordon shifted in his seat, “Oh, I’m afraid I’m a tea person myself,” he said, much to Janeway’s disappointment. Before she could say more, Seven entered the room. “Seven, Neelix will be going on an off-planet expedition tomorrow with Mr. Ramsay and Mr. Tuvok,” she said. Neelix followed by saying, “Since you’ve been practicing your culinary skills so much, I think tomorrow would be a great day to test yourself and see just what you’re capable of!”, Neelix said, seemingly overjoyed by the idea. Seven tilted her head to the side and said bluntly, “That would be impossible. B’Elanna has tasked me with caring for her subunit tomorrow.” Janeway looked at Neelix, her eyes wide. Thinking fast, she again presses a button on her desk. “B’Elanna, please report to my ready room,” she said. B’Elanna replies with a beep of the computer, “Coming!” Yet another deafening silence filled the ready room. 

Janeway again broke the silence, with a grin stretching across her face, “So, did anything interesting happen in the mess hall after me and Tuvok left?”, she asked. This remark was met with Neelix’s eyes meeting the floor, and Gordon looking over at Neelix to see if the Talaxian had anything to say. Taking this cue, Gordon spoke up, “Honestly, the service was rubbish. His hair was in everyone’s pasta. I shut him down and cooked everyone my take on that dish.” Tuvok and Janeway looked at Neelix to gauge his reaction, which was unchanged asides from a deep sigh that he had let out. “I’m sure Neelix will bounce back,” Janeway said while grabbing Neelix’s shoulder. “Indeed,” Tuvok added. The door slid open again and in came B’Elanna with a PADD in her hand. “What’s the matter, Captain?”, she quickly asked, not skipping a beat. Seven looked at her and said, “Neelix has asked me to temporarily take his role as the Ship Chef tomorrow. If I accept, I will not be able to care for your subunit.” B’Elanna’s expression doesn’t change. “That’s fine, I’ll ask Harry if he can look after Miral,” B’Elanna replied while looking at Seven and then at Janeway. 

Seven’s face was equally expressionless, but Janeway’s squinched as if she had already rejected this plan in her mind. “Unfortunately I have asked Mr. Kim to run an errand for me tomorrow. I’m afraid he will be unavailable as well,” she said. B’Elanna searched her mind for other possible candidates to babysit. “What about the Delaney sisters?”, she said after a moment. Almost instinctively, Janeway reached to press a button. Before she could however, she said with a confident smile on her face, “Actually, B’Elanna how about I take care of Miral?” B’Elanna hadn’t considered that as an option but after another moment of thinking, she agreed to it. Finally, with everyone’s schedules working out, Janeway spoke once more. “Well Mr. Neelix, you are our Morale Officer and if you think things have gotten this bad then I can’t deny you the opportunity to change and grow. Have a safe trip gentlemen,” Janeway said, as she waved the trio off. “See you guys at 0700!”, Neelix cheerfully exclaimed, as the three men exited the room one after the other. As the door closed, Gordon could hear Janeway saying to Seven, “How’s your coffee-making abilities, Seven?”, to which Seven replied, “They are sufficient.” A chuckle and a head shake was all Gordon could afford to the coffee obsessed captain.

As Neelix and Tuvok departed for their quarters, Gordon had the night to himself, as he was unable to feel the bodily desire for sleep that he once knew. At first he wanted to learn more about the missing centuries between when he last remembered Earth and when he came upon Deep Space Nine. But that desire waned as he did not wish to get distracted by all the happenings of the galaxy. Rather, he wanted to feel something real, something his living counterpart loitering on Deep Space Nine could feel. There was nothing on Voyager with which he could relate to anymore, he realized, not even the holograms on the holodeck that he spent an hour on until it was shut off to conserve power. Finally, it dawned on him, the only person who could truly empathize with him was the Doctor who had activated him in the first place. As the clock ticked towards the morning when the trip was scheduled for, Gordon finally ended up going to where it all started for him, at the Sickbay. “Hello Doctor,” Gordon said, with a defeated tone in his voice. “Ah, Chef Ramsay. What brings you to Sickbay tonight? Surely nothing physical as you are a hologram much like myself,” the Doctor said quickly. “I’m just...having trouble grappling with the fact that I’m a hologram. It’s such a strange experience to me, to not feel anything you know? What’s it like for you, Doctor?”, Gordon asked solemnly, almost choking with his words. 

“Well Mr. Ramsay, I was only intended for emergency uses, as I am the Emergency Medical Hologram after all. However, as the ship’s medical staff was unfortunately killed in action during Voyager’s arrival in the Delta Quadrant, I’ve been serving her for 1865 days now. To be completely honest, I’ve forgotten the menial and earthly delights that my creator, Dr. Zimmerman, remembers. But, in its place, I’ve come to be a different person than him entirely, my own man, so to say. Although our memories and mannerisms are the same, we are quite different people now that I’ve been modified to persist longer than my recommended time of use. If you wish to have that same procedure done on you, it can be arranged. In time you too will learn to become a new person, separate from the Gordon Ramsay you remember,” the Doctor explained, as he comforted the Chef who was near tears. “Thanks for the talk,” Gordon mumbled, as he turned the arm on his shoulder into a hug. The Doctor was a bit taken aback by this show of affection from the notoriously angry chef. But since he was also a hologram, he could easily understand Gordon’s plight, and so he embraced him warmingly. Not long after, the clock ticked 0700 hours, and Tuvok, who was up and early, called for Gordon and Neelix to report to the shuttle bay for their mission. “Really Doctor, thank you for the chat. Maybe have it again sometime yeah? Alright, I’ve got to go, duty calls!”, Gordon said while he composed himself. As Gordon left the Sickbay, the Doctor replied, “My pleasure,” while he watched Gordon leave.


	4. Away from Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gordon, Neelix, and Tuvok embark on an away mission to pick up some fresh food and ingredients for Voyager. But like most away missions, the trio run into some unexpected troubles, not just with the planet, but also, with each other.

Like a spring chicken, a reinvigorated Neelix skipped into the shuttle bay, almost blissfully ignorant of yesterday’s drama. There was a look of contempt on both Tuvok and Gordon’s faces, as both men shared a disdain for Neelix for different reasons. As Gordon paced towards the other members of the crew, Neelix’s jubilant demeanor was at full throttle and he shouted at Gordon, “Are you ready for our adventure, Chef Ramsay? I’m so excited for it, I can’t wait!” Tuvok rolled his eyes at this joyful exertion from his overly optimistic friend, but Gordon responded differently, “Yes I am ready for this you hairy monkey. Let’s get on with it.” After hearing that, Tuvok raised his eyebrow as if to signal his agreement. However, Gordon’s insult had little effect on Neelix, as his smile and energy did not diminish one bit. As they all entered into the shuttle, Gordon spoke up to clear the air, “Tuvok yeah? I’m not sure of your rank but-”, Tuvok cuts him off to say his rank, “I’m a Lieutenant Commander, Mr. Ramsay.” Nodding in agreement and not skipping a beat, Gordon carried on, “Right, Lieutenant Commander, I’ve cooked for naval ships before so I know the rules. I assume you’re the commanding officer here so whatever you say, goes, lright?” Neelix chuckled as if he was amused by this no-nonsense statement from the chef. 

“That would be agreeable, Mr. Ramsay. Please, have a seat here. This should be a relatively routine trip and we should not be experiencing anything necessitating your expertise along the way,” Tuvok replied, without much fuss. Surely enough, the trip from the shuttlebay of Voyager onto the planet was a breeze and nothing was said along the way other than routine messages to Voyager about the progress of their journey. The shuttle soon descended into an opening of the forest canopy, deep where life signs were abundant on the scans. Stepping out of the shuttle, Gordon took a moment to look around, but was confused by the sight of the forest. “Wait a minute. This place looks like Toronto,” Gordon said, as if he was unsure if he was in purgatory or an elaborate holonovel. “I can assure you Mr. Ramsay, we are not,” Tuvok retorted in a manner that was almost questioning the sanity of the holographic chef. To break the confusion of the scene, Neelix interjected with his upbeat voice, “If I’m correct, we should be able to find tons of delicious and nutritious vegetables and herbs approximately 1.5 kilometers that way!”, while pointing to his left with his PADD on hand. Tuvok and Gordon started walking with tacit approval of Neelix’s plan, as after all, he was still the ship’s guide to the Delta Quadrant. Surely enough, the group soon approached a litany of colorful plants, which Neelix identified as Spith basil, Prishic, and to Neelix’s surprise, even Talaxian spice. 

Alongside this wide array of herbs and spices Neelix and Tuvok collected were also, of course, Leola roots, which Neelix eventually pressed Gordon into picking as well. However, when the trio were setting the hour’s bounty into the shuttle, Gordon finally asked Neelix why they were stocking up so much of that yellowish plant into the shuttle. “Oh, I must’ve forgotten to mention it. Those are Leola roots, the most nutritious plant in the quadrant!”, Neelix said while packing his take into the shuttle. “Are you fucking joking?!”, Gordon exclaimed. “I don’t fucking care how fucking nutritious it is, it’s poison! Don’t fucking serve the crew that! What do you think they are, your prisoners?! I wouldn’t feed my worst enemy that, let alone the Captain!”, Gordon shouted. Tuvok was amused but refused to show it, as his logic was more powerful than his emotions. “Though I agree that the Leola root is not well-received by Voyager’s crew, it is nonetheless a good source of nutrients and we have gathered an abundant amount of them. It would be illogical to throw all of it away,” Tuvok explained with an eyebrow raised. Neelix’s joy was shattered by Gordon’s outburst, and this feeling was not tempered by his friend’s defense of the plant that he loved so much. 

“Chef Ramsay’s right. Nobody likes the Leola root based foods that I make for them on Voyager. I’ve fed prisoners Leola root based foods and they weren’t too keen on them either. We should throw them out. Maybe we should go see if we can find more pepper,” Neelix said, whose eyes now look like that of a rejected puppy. This act of submission did not satiate Gordon’s anger but it was soon tempered by the group’s long trek back into the forest in their search for flavor. However, unlike the first trip, this one was different. A kilometer into their hike, the sounds of the forest that had once surrounded them all but stopped. They couldn’t hear the rustling of the leaves anymore. Something in the air just did not feel right. And as soon as their intuition informed them about this, the alarm on Tuvok’s PADD blared out. “Six lifeforms approaching us at a very high pace,” he said, his voice still calm and collected. “What’s that mean?”, Gordon asked with a thicker Scottish accent than usual. Neelix looked at Gordon, his mouth agape, and said plainly, “Run.” And so the three men ran as fast as they could towards the shuttle, but the six alien lifeforms were quicker and soon they could see what had found them on this little green planet. 

The alien creatures were tall but skinny and they had a thin coat of red fur across their spine. They ran on their two hind legs while their arms, small and weak from atrophy, were kept tight to their chest. Their roar was high pitched and frequent, almost as if they were communicating with each other with them. Their high speed allowed them to catch up with the three men but Tuvok was quick to deliver a rebuttal. He pulled out his phaser instinctually and fired at the closest creature. The phaser shook the beast but did not stop it, as it recovered as quickly as Tuvok had reacted. Thinking quickly, Tuvok shouted at Neelix and Gordon, who were right behind him, “I will distract the creatures! Continue running towards the shuttle, we will rendezvous there.” And so, the pack of alien animals chased the Vulcan man, whose training allowed him to sprint for as long a distance as he needed to. But for Gordon and Neelix, they were now alone on the shuttle, and had to wait for Tuvok to return. Unfortunately, something had rummaged through the shuttle and damaged it. One of the casualties was the shuttle’s communications array which was now damaged beyond repair. Similarly, Neelix realized after the intense chase that his communicator was also damaged. “Of course it is,” Gordon said, disappointed that the bumbling Talaxian had stranded the two on the planet for now. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to stay the night and wait for Tuvok. I...I can’t repair this thing!”, Neelix said, sharing the same feeling of disappointment that Gordon had. 

The hours came and went as the anxiety of another attack by those alien creatures as well as the potential demise of their friend loomed over their heads. They had been slated for a day-long mission so Voyager wouldn’t expect them to return for some time, nor did Voyager expect any trouble to arise. Neelix opened his eyes for the first time in what felt like a year only to see the now strawberry red Scottish man sitting across from him, his hand clasping around the mobile emitter on his wrist, while his neck stretched out as he looked to see if Tuvok was approaching. “Is it Tuvok? I was just starting to get worried. He’s been gone for hours!”, Neelix whispered with a smile that replaced the frown on his face. Gordon looked intensely at his companion. “No it’s not Tuvok you hairy idiot, it’s the wind and it’s only been 30 bloody minutes since we got separated so shut the fuck up and be quiet you buffoon!”, Gordon angrily whispered. This was the quietest that Neelix has ever heard Gordon talk, yet he could feel Gordon’s anger seep from his mouth. Neelix’s mouth moved as if he wanted to reply, but words didn’t come out. He couldn’t find any retort, so he sat back down and closed his eyes once more, still anxious over the events that had transpired that day. 

What felt like 40 years passed for Neelix, but soon the day was coming to an end and Tuvok was still nowhere to be seen or heard. Neelix hadn’t even tried to converse with Gordon anymore, mostly because he didn’t want to get chewed out by the renowned chef again. Regardless, with the night coming, Neelix knew that the cold came with it. Without power from the shuttle, he would need to start a fire to keep himself warm. Fortunately, that’s a function his phaser is capable of, yet he still would need to venture out once again to find suitable tinder and kindling. That benign chore could be dangerous given the environment they’re in, so Neelix’s best chance at quick and safe success would be to enlist the help of Gordon. Taking a moment to collect what courage he could find, Neelix whispered to Gordon, “Chef Ramsay, do you have a moment?” Gordon’s head perked up and whispered back, “Neelix, we’ve been sitting here for 3 hours, of course I have a fucking moment!” Neelix forced a smile on his face, as he knew appearing friendly is best when it comes to making requests. “Well, it’s getting cold out and we can’t use this shuttle for warmth, so I need to get a fire going. Would you possibly be able to find some tinder? I can find kindling! Split up the workload and minimize our exposure to those creatures!”, Neelix whispered while smiling wide to try to pump some enthusiasm and joy back into their terrible situation. 

Gordon rolled his eyes. “You could’ve asked me 3 bloody hours ago,” he retorted before walking out of the shuttle to search for some tinder to burn. Neelix took this cue and got up and started walking in another direction to find some kinding. As the night grew nearer, the two eventually met back at the shuttle, as their foray into the forest was as uneventful as it was earlier that day. Gordon had accumulated a large mass of tinder, enough for a fire that could last days. He was a hologram after all, so he had no trouble gathering it. Neelix, on the other hand, returned with an armful of kindling, which is more than enough for the task at hand, but the disparity of the work done by both men was apparent to them. “Don’t beat yourself up, I’m a hologram after all,” Gordon said, his innate anger seemingly not being present in anything he just said. Neelix placed the kindling onto the tinder and rocks that Gordon had arranged for the fire and then blasted the kindling with a low yield shot from his phaser, setting the arrangement ablaze. “Fire!”, Neelix exclaimed with his arms out as if he was partaking in some ritual. 

Gordon took a seat near the fire even though he didn’t need its warmth because he did need its comfort. “You know, I’ve really missed this. The outdoors. The natural world. Just...living,” Gordon said while he stared at the fire. “Living like you used to?”, Neelix asked rhetorically. Gordon smirked, but quickly retreated back into his signature angry demeanor. “In any case, I’m getting hungry. Fancy anything?”, Neelix asked, forgetting for a moment that he is not on Gordon’s A-list of cooks. Without looking away from the fire, Gordon replies, “Fuck off,” to which Neelix promptly does as he goes back into the shuttle for ingredients. Soon, he comes back out with what is the Leola root that he hadn’t thrown out yet, as well as other ingredients which Gordon knew nothing of. Not long after, Neelix had improvised a hanger to hold a pot to cook his dinner out of. Before Gordon could even remark at anything, Neelix had concocted a creamy white soup for himself, poured it into another pot, and drank it. “Is that fucking Leola root?”, Gordon exclaimed. Neelix nodded his head as he drank more from the batch. “How in God’s name can you drink that?”, Gordon asked, still perplexed by the Talaxian man’s powerful constitution. 

“It’s not so bad. Just sprinkle some Spith basil and some Talaxian spice and it’s very delicious!”, Neelix retorted, genuinely smiling as he had just tasted a slice of home. Gordon was not convinced. “I bet that you can’t make any version of that soup that I will find appealing. Even a little. It can’t be done,” Gordon said with a small smirk on his face. Gordon was confident in this challenge, as he had nothing to lose and only the possibility of Neelix cooking Leola root to an edible degree to gain. Neelix didn’t take a moment to think and accepted the challenge. Soon he made another batch of Leola root soup, this time with more spices and herbs as he knew the flavor of the Leola root was never going to go down well without them. Gordon had one sip of this iteration and his reaction was all but well known to Neelix by now. “Piss off!”, Gordon roared while he tried to wipe the taste from his tongue. Fortunately, Neelix had anticipated this reaction and did not make a large serving, so not much of the soup was wasted. Once more Neelix went back into the shuttle to gather more herbs and spices to make the soup more palatable to Gordon’s tastes. Again, Gordon shooed it away, never really giving Neelix any constructive criticism as it was obvious to both what the issue was. 

Neelix did not give up. He toiled for hours on end, trying to make the perfect Leola root soup for Gordon, but Gordon wasn’t impressed. Neelix tried so many variations of Leola root soup that he lost count in his mind and at times, confused it with other recipes he remembered as a child. The hours went on but the night never left. This felt like an eternity to Neelix, to make Leola root based foods for people who absolutely hate them. Perhaps this was his fate, perhaps this was his purgatory. Alas, Neelix cooked on, unperturbed by the fatigue he felt in his arms and his back. He was determined to make a Leola root soup that Gordon can enjoy, even if for a moment. Finally, just when he was about to run out of Leola roots, he resolved to make his stand here and now. He dumped large helpings of whatever spices and herbs he had left. Was this soup more pepper than Leola roots? He didn’t know, he was too tired and it all blended together to him with a nice and powerful aroma to boot. Neelix served this final soup to Gordon, who seemed to take a while longer to examine its flavor. Did Gordon smile? Did Gordon enjoy this ultimate Leola root soup? Neelix couldn’t tell as his eyes were half-opened from exhaustion. 

Regardless of what Neelix thought he saw, Gordon said the same two words that had plagued Neelix’s mind for the last few hours, “Piss off.” Neelix was beside himself. After all those hours of hard work, he thought that he had finally done it, he thought he had finally made Gordon a Leola root soup that he liked, if only for just a second. Neelix even thought he had seen proof of this enjoyment. Faint and flickering images of Gordon smiling a bit after tasting the ultimate soup flashed before Neelix’s mind. Stuttering, Neelix had to say something about this apparent deception. “You...you lied! I saw you smile! You loved my soup!”, Neelix exclaimed, barely able to stand from the long day he’s had. Gordon looked over at Neelix for the first time in hours. “You’re joking. That was absolutely awful. Go on. Try again you daft donkey,” Gordon said with prejudice in his voice. Those were the most painful words that Neelix had heard in a long time. Neelix still couldn’t understand why Gordon would do this to him, why Gordon would lie to him, why Gordon would be so mean to him. The bet had no risk nor reward, yet Gordon had just lied to Neelix in plain sight. This couldn’t stand.

“You...you sub-class genus! You’re a liar!”, Neelix shouted. “Keep your voice down you idiot!”, Gordon whispered sneeringly. “I won’t let you just...bully me around with your lies! You’re a liar, Gordon Ramsay! You’re a liar!”, Neelix vindictively screamed, his back now straight and his eyes now wide, as if he’s been awakened by Gordon’s crime. Gordon was not shaken by this accusation but continued whispering, “Neelix, do you have a girlfriend or a wife or something?” Neelix looked down for a moment to reflect. “I had one, Kes. She was the love of my life. And she would’ve loved each and every Leola root soup that I made for you tonight,” Neelix said, with tears streaming from his eyes. 

Gordon looked to the trees, and then to Neelix once again. “No, she wouldn’t have. It’s bloody disgusting is what it is,” Gordon said, calmer than ever, with only disappointment in his voice. Neelix breathed harder. He could take as many insults to his cooking as Gordon could dish out, but not to Kes. Never to Kes. Like a wild beast, acting only on his primal instinct of rage, Neelix lunged at Gordon from across the fire. “I’ll kill you!”, Neelix shouted as his hands grabbed onto Gordon. In the confusion, Neelix hit Gordon’s mobile emitter with such force that soon, Gordon’s projection started to flicker, the machine unable to cope with the damage. “Neelix, I don’t feel so good,” Gordon whispered solemnly, as his body vanished back into that tiny block of 29th century technology that he had come from. Neelix paused in shock, but before he could say or do anything, he heard a familiar voice from afar say, “Neelix, where’s Mr. Ramsay?”


	5. Same Voyager, Different Crew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neelix, Gordon, and Tuvok return to Voyager, but Neelix and Gordon realizes that they aren't the same people who had departed Voyager.

Alas, Tuvok had returned from his foray with the alien critters, intact and without even a speck of dust on his uniform to indicate what trouble he might have gone through to pacify the situation. As Tuvok jogged over to the damaged shuttle, Neelix knew that he must confess to what had occurred. “Tuvok! Me and Chef Ramsay got into a little fight and, you know, one thing led to another and his mobile emitter was damaged in the process. I hope that it can be repaired,” Neelix said with an outpour of regret in his voice, as he did not intend to damage the mobile emitter to that extent. Tuvok took a deep sigh, as he knew that though Neelix was embellishing the truth, the truth could not be far from what Neelix had said. Rather than tending to old wounds though, Tuvok resolved to move the mission forward before dealing with what had happened. “Yes, that is possible. I will stay here and repair the mobile emitter as well as the shuttle. You should take the time to gather what other supplies you can find. I estimate that I will require approximately 2 hours to complete the repairs, so we shall rendezvous then,” Tuvok replied. Neelix nodded his head to confirm and forced himself back into the forest despite the exhaustion that plagued his limbs. 

While picking more of the herbs he had found from before, Neelix only thought about how sorry he was for what he’s done to Gordon. The Doctor hates being shut off without any respect for his wishes, and Neelix had done the same to Gordon. Neelix rehearsed out loud apology after apology, but nothing that he came up with seemed suitable for the predicament he had put himself in. In a way, it felt like he had killed a member of the crew, and that guilt weighed heavily on Neelix’s mind as he plucked plants and herbs to bring back to the shuttle. Soon though, he had to head back, but on the trail to the shuttle, Neelix dropped his box of Leola roots in shock. Gordon was standing not 20 meters away from him, his arms crossed, tapping his toe, while simply waiting for Neelix to show up. Neelix ran towards Gordon, apologizing profusely. At one point, there were even tears in Neelix’s eyes. The jumble of words that Neelix were saying to him was all but incoherent to Gordon, but the sentiment was well-received. Gordon rolled his eyes as Neelix embraced Gordon’s waist, as the tall Scot towered over the diminutive Talaxian. 

“It’s quite alright Neelix. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have brought Kes into it. I forgive you,” Gordon said as Neelix started to cry and laugh at the same time. Gordon pushed Neelix away just a bit. He grabbed Neelix by his shoulders and looked into his eyes. “And you know what Neelix? That last soup wasn’t so bad. I was being harsh on you to see just how much you can improve. And in that one evening, you grew a ton. Alright?”, Gordon said sincerely, as if he was talking to a loved one. Neelix wiped as many tears away he could with the sleeve of his shirt, but the explosion of emotions that Gordon’s words brought him also brought more tears to his eyes. “Now get that box of Leola roots so we can get the fuck out of here!”, Gordon said with more force in his voice, as if to signal to Neelix that the compassionate and caring Gordon Ramsay that he had met for a brief moment had gone back behind the veil and the Chef Ramsay that he knew was back in action. Neelix agreed and ran back to pick up the box of Leola roots and followed Gordon back to the shuttle, Neelix still sniffling from his crying. When they approached the shuttle, Tuvok had a wrench in his hand and greeted the two. “Welcome back Mr. Neelix. I am about to finish the repairs. If you have nothing more to pack, we should be departing soon,” Tuvok said as he went back to his work. Not long after Neelix was finished putting the fruits of his labor into the shuttle, their time on the planet came to an end and Tuvok piloted the ship back into space to meet up with Voyager. 

Unlike the first stretch of the trip where it was relatively quiet, Tuvok thought that it was his duty to question Neelix and Gordon about their fight, as Tuvok was the Chief of Security after all. “Mr. Ramsay, as I understand it, an altercation between you and Mr. Neelix occurred earlier. Can you describe to me what happened?”, Tuvok asked without even looking away from his control console. Gordon did not enjoy the experience of being turned off but had come to the conclusion in his mind that his quarrel with Neelix was resolved, as the two men had already apologized to one another. “It was just a misunderstanding, Tuvok. It was nothing,” Gordon responded from across the shuttle. “Mr. Ramsay, I sense that you are not telling the truth,” Tuvok retorted, this time looking back at Gordon while raising his eyebrow. Neelix could only sit in his co-pilot seat, looking back and forth between the two men, but Gordon’s stance on the situation was clear. “No, nothing happened. Let’s just get back on Voyager, yeah?”, Gordon said with his arms crossed. 

Looking back at the viewscreen, Tuvok knew that he had to drop the manner completely. “Very well,” Tuvok said, before returning to the litany of button presses that was required for his role. Neelix breathed a sigh of relief and nodded to Gordon, who audibly shook his head, for reasons Tuvok might never know. But in his mind, Tuvok hoped that Neelix had learned from what had happened between the two of them and that Neelix experienced genuine forgiveness and growth as a person and as a chef. But farther back in his mind, a hideous thought had crept to the forefront. Behind those thick walls of Vulcan logic conditioning, Tuvok imagined that he had finally caught Neelix in a bind that he couldn’t escape from. Tuvok imagined that he was allowed to interrogate the usually joyful Talaxian man, who had troubled him for so long with his overly outgoing and expressive nature. Nevermind the fact that Neelix has also prepared one too many ruined Vulcan delicacies for him. Tuvok thought that, perhaps things would’ve gone a bridge too far and he was allowed to take his frustrations out on Neelix physically. But alas, these violent thoughts were suppressed as quickly as they came and were pushed back into the recesses of Tuvok’s mind, and soon, their journey back to Voyager was complete. 

When the shuttle bay door opened, to Neelix’s surprise, he was greeted by the wide smile and embrace of the Captain. “Welcome back Mr. Neelix! I trust you’ve acquired all the produce you need?”, she asked through her powerful smile. “Why yes Captain, however, I must ask, what’s the occasion?”, Neelix inquired. “Why can’t a Captain greet her friend? And besides, who makes the best coffee in the quadrant?”, Janeway rhetorically asked as she tilted her head towards Neelix as if he was part of a comedy routine. Neelix hesitated, not used to this amount of positive energy from his Captain. “The….replicator?”, Neelix replied nervously, totally unsure if it was a trick question or not. Janeway rolled her eyes and said “Yes Neelix, but you’re number two! I didn’t think I’d ever be saying that but you really have to brew me something immediately. Seven is…”, but before she could finish, Seven burst through a nearby turbolift wearing an extremely dirty apron. “My coffee is perfectly sufficient, Captain,” she angrily said, as she came bearing another serving of that black lagoon she called coffee. Intimidated by the quickly moving ex-Borg chef, Janeway whispered into Neelix’s ear, “Duty calls Neelix, please report to the mess hall immediately, with coffee,” before she skedaddled towards the nearest turbolift that was as far away from Seven as possible in order to avoid that awful blend of coal and water that Seven was trying to serve her.

Gordon paced forward to catch up to Neelix who had been whisked forward by Janeway’s very high speed of motion. “Looks like you’ve got a fan. Remember Neelix, organize that cookoff in, oh I don’t know, three days time? Good luck mate,” Gordon said as he shook Neelix’s hand one final time before they’d meet again as competitors. “You too, Chef Ramsay!”, Neelix replied as Gordon walked towards elsewhere. As this high paced entrance died down and the commotion left the room, Neelix took a moment to collect himself and his thoughts. What an adventure the last few days has been, he thought. The drama, the emotions, all of it. It was a breath of fresh air and a new perspective on a dish that he’s cooked for far too long. Despite the fact that nobody else was there, Neelix felt proud of himself and how far he’s come in such a short time. From making food that disgusted his patrons to a soup that impressed Gordon Ramsay of all people. A soup made from the Leola root no less! A vegetable that is apparently naturally revolting to human tastes. Yet Neelix had made such a soup palatable and enjoyable to even his harshest critic ever. And for that, he was proud and happy for himself, and so he let out his most genuine smile in years. Neelix was, for the first time in a long time, genuinely happy.

After that brief moment of pride and joy faded, it was back to work for Neelix. He has a mess hall to attend to during the day and cooking experiments to do at night so that he could really impress the crew and his friends. Setting up the time and place for it was the easy part, it was something Neelix did with just a touch of his comm badge after he got a new one. But these three days would be Neelix’s last chance to shore up his skills and hone his craft to become the best chef that he could be. It didn’t matter to Neelix if he beat Gordon, Neelix only wanted to impress the crew and his friends. And If he couldn’t impress them more than Chef Ramsay could by three days' time, then maybe he should hang up his apron like he’s been asked to do. Neelix couldn’t make any mistakes and he knew it. 

And so he gave himself to a rather vicious schedule. With only four hours of sleep, the minimum he’d need to be at maximum efficiency, at least according to the Doctor, he’d cook and cook and cook all day for all three days. Three times he’d cook for the sustenance of others, and many dozen more times he’d cook for the experimentation of flavor. This was his final crucible and he could not fail. He’d imagine motivational music whenever he cooked, as Harry couldn’t be present to play him anything all day. Yet Harry, Tuvok, and Seven all took time out of their day to sample and critique Neelix’s ever evolving iterations of the dish that he’s worked on for so long with Chef Ramsay. That’s what friends were for and Neelix’s courage was steeled by them through the roughest hours of this cooking marathon.

On the other hand, his competitor, Chef Ramsay, was taking it easy and taking it all in. Though he’s been alive for centuries now as far as any biologist is concerned, this version of Gordon, one born from the mobile emitter onboard Voyager, that Gordon was but only a few days old. He paced across the ship many times and talked to strangers here and there, but never more than a few minutes. Their interests were often wholly incompatible so far as Gordon was concerned. Even though the crew on Voyager were very interested in him, Gordon never could reciprocate. Anytime Paris asked Gordon about the 20th century, Gordon gave non-answers and tried any way he could to escape from the conversation without being the stereotypically brash person that he is known to be. Anytime Seven approached Gordon about the intricacies of cooking, Gordon would lie and deflected in any direction he could, let it be that he was tired or that he had a meeting. Seven confronted him on multiple occasions about those deceptive tactics, but every time Gordon would find a way out non-confrontationally. He simply did not enjoy the company of the ship’s crew.

If Neelix wasn’t so busy, he might’ve noticed this uncharacteristically demure behavior from Gordon, but alas, not even drinking his beloved Scotch could lift him from this rut. What Gordon needed, and indeed, what Gordon received, was a visit to the Doctor’s office. He thought at first it was strange, that he’d seek the company of a hologram rather than flesh and blood beings, but that was the old Gordon thinking. Gordon was still adapting to the idea that he’s a hologram, that he could be shut off at a moment’s notice. However, by realizing that he could find companionship in a fellow hologram, he thought that he had taken his first step to becoming an actualized person. And so, while Neelix toiled away for 20 hour shifts at the mess hall perfecting the minutiae of his soup, Gordon spent his day at the sickbay, talking to the few patients who’d come by every now and again, but most importantly, talking to and connecting with the Doctor. 

They talked about everything, from life as a hologram to life before being a hologram to even the existential anxieties and fears of that intermediary phase between a seemingly inanimate tool to a sentient and sapient being. But those three good days at the sickbay came to an end eventually. Though Gordon had asked the Doctor to come to the cookoff, the Doctor lamented that his workload would likely impede him from joining Gordon and Neelix and the rest of Voyager for the event. Saddened but not shaken, Gordon reluctantly waved goodbye to his new friend and departed for the mess hall. As the final minutes ticked down to the start of the much anticipated cookoff, Gordon put on his apron once again and waded through a dense line of excited and curious guests by the mess hall, before finally entering those hallowed grounds of cooking where he saw a rejuvenated and merry Neelix already prepped and ready for the long awaited cookoff between the two chefs.


	6. There are no Winners, only Chefs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neelix and Gordon have a cookoff to determine who can make the best dish. But the only thing more delicious than food, is love.

Everyone was there, from people he knew and many more he didn’t. Paris and B’Elanna, Harry and the Delaney sisters, Chakotay and Seven, Tuvok and the Captain, and many more faces he barely recognized from his brief stay on Voyager. As Gordon approached his station, the crowd let out a cheer of excitement before Gordon hushed the crowd with his hands as he was about to speak. “I see that everyone’s here. What I hope to see from this isn’t a winner or a loser but rather a lot of smiling faces not just today, but for everyday afterwards. You guys are very courageous to travel for 70 years to get home and I just hope that me and Neelix, especially Neelix, can cook you lot something delicious everyday for all those 70 years. Alright?”, Gordon said softly, as everyone looked on, some close to tears. Before long, claps started in the crowd and persisted again until the mood of the room was restored back to its joyous luster. Then, when the crowd was more quiet, Gordon spoke again, this time about the rules, “The rules of this cookoff will be simple. Me and Neelix will have 30 minutes to prepare one dish for you guys to sample. At the end, we’ll survey everyone and see whose dish was most liked. Alright? Alright.”

Tuvok and Seven took out their PADDs and prepared to time the two chefs down to the nanosecond. With Gordon and Neelix’s stations fully prepped, Tuvok asked the two men one last time if they were ready. “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, Mister Vulcan,” Neelix said with a closed grin on his face. “Yeah, I’m ready,” Gordon said nonchalantly. And so Tuvok looked at Seven and both counted down in unison, “3, 2, 1, Commence!”, they shouted. Neelix immediately started the flame under his trusty wok and then just as quickly grabbed handfuls of his primary ingredient, Leola root, and threw them in. Gordon wasn’t as quick as Neelix was but nonetheless he calmly started work on his much adored Alfarian hair pasta with the usual techniques of pasta making that he had mastered on Earth. Gordon’s dish consisted of two parts, the hair pasta itself and the sauce. The key to Gordon’s dish was the sauce and so, he made sure to make a large enough batch to smother as much pasta as the crowd that had gathered there that day could eat. 

As most of the ingredients were Delta Quadrant approximations of vegetables and herbs that he knew of from Earth, Gordon had to improvise much of the dish, as he was not entirely sure about the vegetables and herbs and spices that he was placing in his soon to be sauce. However, he was confident of his selections as his prior attempt at Alfarian hair pasta had gone well with the crew. With the large batch of sauce prepared to his liking, Gordon moved on to finishing the pasta, which was the easy part of the dish, at least so he thought. After he strained the hair noodles, he took out the Delta quadrant equivalent of olive oil and began dousing the pasta with it. But then, before he could stop himself, he heard the sound of the doors opening and he perked his head up to look at who had entered. Time slowed down for Gordon as his eyes dilated and his mouth dropped ever so slightly at the sight of the man who had entered into the mess hall. The Doctor, with his perfectly groomed head and well-fitted uniform, walked in with the gait of a champion and swiftly took a position in the middle of the crowd to watch his two friends cook. 

From this distraction, Gordon unfortunately put too much olive oil into the pasta. He cursed himself but the commotion of the crowd meant that no one but himself heard it. In addition to this misfortune, the clock on Seven and Tuvok’s PADDs were nearing the 30 minute deadline he had set for the event, and so he couldn’t make a new batch of hair pasta that wasn’t bombarded by Delta Quadrant olive oil. Meanwhile, though Neelix was not grappling with outside distractions like Gordon was, he was grappling with internal distractions from his own anxieties and self-doubt. This was to be his magnum opus, his dish of all dishes, the best Leola root soup anyone has ever tasted in the galaxy. And for once it wouldn’t be an exaggeration, as he knew very well how revolting Leola root soup is to the average person onboard Voyager. His life’s work and his life’s struggles would all culminate to this soup. Those wonderful stories that his mother told him as a child on Talaxia, those fairytale meals he’d have with Kes every day when all their work was done and there was just enough time for the two to sit down and enjoy the company of each other, all those memories would be for naught if he couldn’t make a Leola root soup that Voyager would love.

To the cheering crowd, nobody knew what Neelix was doing other than the fact that he was making a lot of Leola root soup. He was throwing in so many assorted vegetables and herbs and spices that no one even knew what he was putting into his wok. But it didn’t matter to the crew, Neelix, though he was not the best cook that the crew has ever had, was their friend through thick and thin. They couldn’t help but cheer him on and shout encouragement to him as well as to Gordon. Neelix, though full of worry of what the crew would think of his ultimate Leola root soup, at times allowed the shouts of positivity from the crew to enter his consciousness, and he couldn’t help but look up from his work and smile at all his friends who had gathered there that day to support him. Soon too, he had to put the final touches on his ultimate soup as the clock was winding down. Not long after, Tuvok and Seven both announced that the time was up and in unison, Neelix and Gordon dropped the utensils they were using to finish their dishes. 

Both men took deep breaths that exhaled all of their anxieties into the air as the crowd erupted into applause one more time as both chefs had physically and mentally laid it all out to bare. While the crowd cheered, Gordon raised his hand up with Neelix’s hand to signal that they were both winners today, and that only drew more cheers from the crowd. In anycase, now came time for the crew to sample the food, and as they formed uniform lines for the two large offerings of food, two unnamed ensigns began serving the patrons. As more and more people were served and tasted one or both dishes, Gordon and Neelix retreated to their closest friends to see what they thought of the food. For Neelix, he approached Tuvok, Harry, and Janeway, who all happened to be sampling his Leola root soup. Harry was shocked that Neelix had managed to make a soup so delicious out of a Leola root base, and most surprising to him was the fact that he could still taste the Leola root, which meant that Neelix didn’t simply cover the Leola root up with tastier ingredients. “Wow Neelix! You actually made Leola root delicious. I’m...I’m really impressed”, Harry said, as he patted Neelix’s shoulder. 

“I agree with Ensign Kim. This is your best work yet, Mister Neelix,” Janeway said with her trademark smile. The three then looked to Tuvok, who was not only Neelix’s best friend, but also one of his harshest critics. Tuvok’s eyes darted between the soup and Neelix, and after a brief moment of contemplation, he could only concur with his crewmates. “Impressive, Mister Neelix,” he said without any emotions, as usual. Neelix couldn’t help but jump from the excitement of finally impressing not just his best friends, but also from what he’s been overhearing, the crew of Voyager as well. “You...you don’t know what it means to me to hear you all say that,” Neelix replied while holding back tears from his eyes. But he was wrong, as his friends as well as the rest of the crew did know what it meant to him to be complimented like that. The crew knew how they'd reacted to his cooking in the past and the pain and toll that it’s taken on Neelix and his mental health, and so hearing Neelix say those words evoked a collective embrace between everyone in the vicinity. Neelix hadn’t felt like this for so long but he’s glad that he’s feeling it now.

As Gordon had only made friends with the Doctor, that was who he approached during the tasting of the dishes, but Seven soon came up to him to give him her compliments about his dish. “Your Alfarian hair pasta is incredible, Mister Ramsay, is it possible for you to instruct me on your technique?”, she asked him. “Thank you Seven, but not right now,” Gordon replied, almost annoyed by the ex-Borg. “Perhaps at another time then?”, she quickly followed up. “Yeah, sure Seven, I’m just kind of busy right now okay?”, Gordon retorted, now fully annoyed. “Very well, I’ll leave you two to it then,” Seven said before finally walking away at a brisk pace. This wasn’t the first time that Seven has been rejected before, but she knew in her heart of hearts that Gordon’s mind was set on someone else. She dared not interfere, as there were other great cooks on Voyager that she could learn from. Gordon and the Doctor then looked at each other as if they knew what both were thinking. “She’s quite spirited,” the Doctor said, with a closed grin on his face. Gordon chuckled and replied, “Yeah, one hell of a woman,” before both men looked at their feet, unsure how to proceed. At last, Gordon locked his eyes with the Doctor to signal his desire to speak.

“So, what’d you think?”, Gordon asked nervously, as if this was the first time in a long time that he’s wanted to impress someone else. “Your Alfarian hair pasta was remarkable, but, so was Mister Neelix’s Leola root soup. However, I must say I would prefer the pasta on any day of the week,” the Doctor replied, as he looked over at the crew embracing Neelix before looking back at Gordon with a smile. “It’s fine really. He’s worked hard and, I have to say, the soup’s pretty damn good,” Gordon confessed quietly. The two men shuffled in place and looked to the floor again as neither knew what to say next. Finally, Gordon looked back up into the Doctor’s eyes and mustered up every ounce of courage he had and asked, “Say Doctor, would you, maybe I don’t know, like to have lunch sometime? My treat!” The Doctor looked back to the floor for a brief moment and then back at Gordon’s eyes. “You could’ve asked sooner,” he replied with a suave tone of voice. The Doctor smiled, and Gordon returned with a chuckle. As the two men chatted away, the room eventually transformed itself into a more casual atmosphere as everyone took time to enjoy not just the food, but also the company of each other. 

A few days had passed since that cookoff and to both Gordon and Neelix, it felt like an eternity had elapsed since then. All of his anxieties and all of the drama that had taken place when Gordon’s hologram first came onto Voyager were behind Neelix, as nowadays he was extremely busy since he had to serve practically the entire crew of Voyager at multiple times of day. The mess hall was packed at every shift and neither Neelix nor the crew could be any happier with the results. Neelix had regained his confidence and his love for cooking, and he also dared to experiment with food and flavors, now much to the crew’s delight. Everyone from Paris and B’Elanna’s daughter, Miral, to even the Captain, enjoyed what Neelix now had to offer. Indeed, Janeway was so pleased with Neelix’s newfound cooking spirit that she was able to wean herself entirely off of replicated coffee due to his new coffee substitute, which was simply out of the world compared to what Neelix and Seven used to brew. 

And of course, Gordon and the Doctor would also often visit the mess hall when there were seats available so that they may chat and eat. Both holograms now shared the same mobile emitter as Gordon had asked the Doctor to perform the procedure that would allow Gordon to not degrade over time as holograms usually do. It seemed like the only member of the crew who wasn’t thrilled by the events that had taken place was Seven. Sitting alone, she spied on Gordon and the Doctor enjoying some freshly scrambled Porakan eggs that Neelix had made for them. The Doctor did a chef’s kiss as a way to express how delicious the eggs were, and Gordon gave the Doctor a kiss on his cheek to express how deeply in love he was. 

While watching this happen, Seven slowly and methodically chewed on her strawberry shortcake with an intense look of jealousy on her face. At one point in time, she had desired both holograms, but it seems they were more compatible with each other than they were with her. Shaken by this revelation, she stopped eating the cake, as the pain of unrequited love overwhelmed any joy that she got from it. Soon, a single tear rolled down her cheeks, the first tears in many years. But while wiping those tears away, she spotted Harry sitting alone much like she was, enjoying lunch by himself in a sea of friends and lovers. Filled with what seemed to her to be an irrational desire for companionship, she picked up her plate and fork and walked towards Harry, optimistic for what’s to come.


End file.
